Myojo instant ramen from Thailand. But are they the real Myojo? In this technologically altered age of AI generated prose please be clear that AI has not been used within any of these reviews. But in Myojo’s distinct range there may be some AN. Artificial Noodles, that is. Not, we hasten to add, noodles that are not genuine noodles created in a virtual noodality environment. These are noodles who declare the distinct artificial nature of their flavour when it is deemed appropriate. Similarly any doubts as to the ethnicity of the flavours can be identified where appropriate so the pork here is declared to be derived not only not from a pig but a Chinese pig.

Myojo Noodles Artificial Chicken

What, you may well ask, does an artificial chicken taste like? In the topsy-turvy world of nouilles instantanes any question is valid, I mean we’ve had vegetable noodles with half a farmyard in them so why not a chicken one that’s vegan? Myojo’s artificial chicken noodles are a real enigma, the noodles themselves look flat, cook flat but eat like normal noodles.

The chilli package may or may not be chilli, you can’t tell. And there’s no chicken either. Even the cover shot has an unidentifiable thing on it that looks like a burnt hot cross bun. So what does artificial chicken taste like? Bloody hot, that’s what. No expense spared on the heat here, chilli, garlic, ginger, black pepper all pumped to eleven on the hot-o-meter to such an extent that any chicken, artificial or otherwise, wouldn’t stand a chance.

Eat as a wake-me-up but don’t expect to use your taste buds for a few days afterwards.

Myojo Noodles Artificial Duck

Straight from Bangkok comes these rather speckled and confused noodle hybrids wrapped in the most unfashionable green ever to deck a packet. Actually, make that the second most unfashionable green because the soupbase sachet is a sight to behold. Ease of cooking is not a strong point here, the noodles seem reluctant to part company, like Hansel and Gretel huddling in the woods, and they need a lot of boiling water to make them tender enough to eat. The cover shot, tempting though it is, has a really tasty looking piece of duck breast on it as a ‘Serving Suggestion’, begging the question, “Why make artificial duck noodles if you are going to put a piece of real duck on the top of them?”

The aroma is hard to pin down, there’s a touch of cloves or cinnamon in there – Christmas noodles! The taste is pepper and chilli hot, and yes it is definitely cinnamon, a genuine perk-me-up that makes an ideal mid-morning snack. Not entirely convinced about the noodles themselves though. They are not really good enough to warrant the extra cooking time but are passable.

Myojo Noodles Artificial Chinese Pork

Myojo do themselves no favours by highlighting their flavours as artificial, most firms strongly avoid using this description. And their bizarre form of noodles does not inspire confidence either. However once these barriers are overcome, and you’ve figured out how to handle the noodles (not for beginners these ones), you can’t help but be impressed by the Myojo Artificial Chinese Pork. This particular packet had the additional burden of having the soup sachets welded to the inside of the packet, making for difficult retrieval and almost resulting in a lack of an illustration for this review – it was extremely difficult not to tear the packaging.

But the struggle was worth it, this is a wonderful, full bodied affair with a warming heat of chilli and pepper and a general hearty feel that belies its 60g weight. Savour the flavour, enjoy the texture (they are firm but even), relish in the wrapper’s country wholesomeness.

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