They’ve been to America (Leningrad Cowboys Go America (1989)) and they’ve met Moses (Leningrad Cowboys Meet Moses (1994)) so VTW Go Finland is perhaps an appropriate foodie film excursion. Those curious about the Leningrad Cowboys band and their work with legendary low-key Finnish filmmaker Aki Kaurismäki should check out the review here before purchasing their cinematic output, including videos, for your education and pleasure.
While the band, instantly identifiable by their outrageously long and pointy quiff hairstyles and black winkle-picker shoes, have played gigs all over the world, one of their enterprises in Helsinki involves food and it is totally in tune (or out of tune depending on the gig in play!) with their unique musical style. Among their musical and lyrical thematic tendencies there are influences of vodka and tractors, both of which are also intrinsic their food.
Many years ago there used to be a Leningrad Cowboys Restaurant which had bonkers décor and a confusion of fusion menu that clashed cuisines from all over the world – where American assimilated with Asian, Mexican merged with Moroccan and Indian integrated with Italian – a broad range of flavours that shouldn’t have worked in so many ways but really, really did. It was there that we also discovered the joys of vanilla vodka straight out of the freezer. Quaffing Finnish spirits while sitting next to quiffing statues, who needs a pudding when you can combine your dessert and digestif in a scrumptious shot? We just had to make sure we could find our way back to the hotel at the end of the evening…
Sadly, it no longer seems to be there – we looked out for it on a recent trip to Helsinki – which is a shame.
However, the Zetor Restaurant in Helsinki has been around for many years and continues to thrive. It takes its name from the leading Czech tractor brand – “The first zetor tractor, the Z25, was ‘baptised’ on 15 March 1946,” according to the official website – and takes the tractor-restaurant concept to a wonderful and surreal zenith. Yes, you eat your meal…. on a tractor or sitting around a tractor.
Zetor Restaurant is owned by Aki Kaurismäki and designed by one of the Leningrad Cowboys. Rural kitsch bliss. Zetor declares itself to be a “110% Finnish restaurant,” and who are we to argue? Also, as is befitting a classy restaurant, the fare on offer comprises signature dishes from their very own recipes and these are described in a highly distinctive manner: perhaps Oula’s sautéed reindeer, The Cackle of Kaivopiha, The weather may change but the vendace stays the same or Karelian glory, which they claim is ‘close to deserving a place on UNESCO’s heritage list.’
It’s worth noting that Crazy reindeer from Levi, Lapland, Mummy’s boy’s meatballs and Grilled liver all contain alcohol. The essential on offer is the drool-worthy Tractor Man’s steak: ‘Tender sirloin of beef, bacon baked on the bonnet of a Zetor tractor with honest garlic butter as fuel. As well as country potatoes with smoked garlic mayonnaise, mousse of smoked reindeer and vegetables as eye candy. That smoked reindeer is welcome as more than eye candy.’
Don’t forget the drinks, which include a wide variety of strong Finnish berry wines: Lingonberry 21 %, Cranberry 21 %, Blueberry 21 %, Blackcurrant 21 %, Sea Buckthorn 21 %, Cloudberry 15 %.
Something to take a shot at. Or two.